A Tour Manager’s Diary

A TOUR MANAGER’S DIARY

A Guest Blog by Corey Barkley

Having read Metalireland and the constant talk of updates, new content and what not, I thought I’d have a wee stab at writing up a blog and talking about the “on the road” side of things.

I am the tour manager for the Man Must Die and The Rotted tour, so here is my blog on the tedium of day to day touring life, the nonsense you have to put up with, the vans, the hotels, the endless hours of driving followed by more endless hours of sitting around after load in, daft soundmen, shite local supports, annoying Easyjet delays and an unfortunate van incident. Ah, touring is fun!

Tuesday 29th June

This is the first entry of the tour blog, not much really to say at the minute. It’s the night before I fly out from Belfast to Stansted. Pretty much spent tonight doing a little bit of last minute advancements, printing boarding passes, tour itineraries and making sure everything is packed.

I’ll tell you a little bit about tomorrow’s plans and no doubt tomorrow’s blog will reflect how it didn’t quite go according to the said plan. Tomorrow, myself and driver/merch guy Conor will fly from Belfast to Stansted at 10am, then quest through London to pickup stage hand/tech guy Andy, head out to Wembley to pick up the van, then drive to Corby, to the Peavey Warehouse to pick up majority of the backline, then drive to Tim (The Rotted’s guitarist) house.

Will be staying there for the night then driving to Exeter on Thursday morning for the first show. Let’s hope all it goes to plan, bet traffic will be a bitch on the M25.

Wednesday 30th June

It’s almost like I jinxed myself after writing the previous day’s entry, so as predicted things did not go to plan. I’d like to thank Easjyet and their delays, after a wait at the airport and another wait sitting in the plane on the runway.

Anyway, the day progressed, picked up the van, albeit later than planned, and thus have no time to go the Peavey Warehouse to get the backline, as it will be closed. Going to have a longer drive to do that tomorrow then. Apart from this little mishap really, everything else is a standard night. We get a chinese takeaway, head to Tim’s house and drink some beers in the garden then go get some sleep.

Thursday 1st July – Exeter Cavern

Today is the day of the first show but before that, we have to drive to Northamptonshire to pick up the backline and then drive to Exeter. After a few hours driving and various pitstops at service stations we arrive at Peavey Warehouse in Corby, repack the van with flight cases full of gear and set off on the road down to Exeter.

It’s a warm, warm fucking day and the plug sockets in the van aren’t working, meaning we have no air fan in the back and the air conditioning isn’t really doing much; even more annoyingly my Ipod decides its battery can’t be arsed living anymore so we now have no music. 3 hours more driving in silence later and we hit Exeter. The show is okay, we load in, support bands play, the crowd are grand and seem to enjoy the show.

Tonight is the first time The Rotted have played the tracks from the new EP live and it works well, including the death metal version of Motorhead’s Iron Fist. We load up the van and find the local Travelodge, everyone goes to bed and I enjoy sleeping in the back of the van. On a last note, Exeter Cavern is a vegetarian venue – what the fuck? It’s ok having veggies in the band, but I would like to have some real food on this tour

Friday 2nd July

Today is a lazy day. There is no show today so we are planning a day of chilling out in Somerset at Ben’s house (The Rotted vocalist). He lives in a small place called Watchet. It’s a small marine town in Somerset but fuck me they make some nice cider. We sat around the pub enjoying said cider and watching the World Cup. Ate some veggie curry and enjoyed some more cider. Tomorrow is breakfast and London, so I’m off to sleep now (I’m sleeping inside tonight!)

Saturday 3rd July - London Underworld

Isn’t it lovely when Ozzy Osbourne announces a gig on the same day as you and you can’t get your date changed so the clash is inevitable? Ah well, let’s motor on and hope for the best, loads of gigs happen on the same days in London.

It’s also Gay Pride day in the city, so driving round central London on the way to Camden is a fucking nightmare. Today is the first show with Man Must Die on the tour so it’s cool to meet up with them. Having previously toured with them on the recent Decapitated/Kataklysm tour and the Irish shows with Machine Head its good to see these guys kicking ass live again.

After the show we are staying in a hotel in Luton, as it’s easier to get out of London at night than through morning traffic. We head off to Luton and I’m starving, lucky for me we arrive and check into the hotel around 1am and the local chinese, kebabs and various takeaway pish are closed. Buffet sunday morning fry up is on the cards!

Sunday 4th - Sheffield Corporation

Fry up! Actually some meat to eat, no vegetarian nonsense this time. I took full advantage of this, horsing down about 6 sausages and a few slices of bacon along with everything else. Today was actually stress free, though I sit typing this as The Rotted are about to go on stage, no doubt something will go wrong soon and I’ve just jinxed myself…

…Well nothing went wrong today, Rotted and MMD played a blinder, load out was quick and painless. After the show we set off through Sheffield on a quest for late night boozing. Finding a Spar to stock up on beer, pringles and sausage rolls was definitely a good call. We spent most of the night sitting in the Travelodge lounge having a bit of craic.

Would I ever want to come back to Sheffield? Well let’s just say the Corporation is a great venue run by some good guys but the fucking road system in this city needs sorted out. It didn’t help that the SatNav thought it should just shit itself and want us to drive the wrong way up one way streets, to take left turns where there is no left turn.

Sheffield central is also somewhere I don’t really want to leave 3 vans full of backline and equipment, so I crash out in the back of the van for the night. The beers earlier made sleeping a lot easier.

Monday 5th – Manchester Moho

Manchester, I love going to Manchester, gigs can be hit and miss but the promoter here is one of the coolest and most easy going guys I’ve ever had to work with. Everything ran smoothly and to plan, in fact it was a stress free day - much of a rarity when tour managing.

I even found the time to find a little oriental place called Rice to get a nice little dinner for myself. The whole day is pretty much spent doing one of two things; sitting in the office with the promoter Dave and his assistant Amy taking the piss out of each other, or constantly moving the vans back and forth due to the construction work going on in the gym next door.

The most commonly used sentences today are “Can you move the van forward three or four feet?” , “ Can you move the van back three or four feet?” and “Fuckin’ Irish people”. We end the day with one parking ticket, which to be honest wasn’t the end of the world really.

Tuesday 6th – Wrexham Central Station

Wrexham is becoming a staple on the touring cycle, probably all down to venue promoter Ian, who is also the booking agent for this tour, so it’s obvious that we are going to visit Central Station. Note the name – yes, it did used to be an old train station.

Today is the day I thank god we are using splitter vans and hotels rather than nightliners. Every time you visit Wrexham in a nightliner you have to arrive around 6am to get any form of parking. Today grants me a welcome lie in because we only have a short drive from Manchester. On a bit of a downer, due to family problems our stage hand Andy has had to leave the tour and get back home quite quickly. We drop him off at train station and drive on to Wrexham.

I arrive and am welcomed as usual with a cup of tea already waiting for me, I like this. The venue has a cafe built into it so sitting down for a lunch of burgers, chips and salad is all good, especially because the first semi final of the World Cup is on tonight and the venue has plenty of TVs! After the show and a victory for Holland we set forth for tonight’s hotel, just up the motorway in Chester.

Not much happens in Chester, in fact it’s just as bad to drive around as Sheffield is with its one way systems and SatNav problems. Tonight I sleep in the van again, street lights glare in, it’s quite annoying so I cover the windows with the merch boards, and sleep is welcomed.

Wednesday 7th – Glasgow Ivory Blacks

Glasgow! Along with everyone on this tour, I have been looking forward to getting back to Glasgow. It always kicks ass and tonight It’s a hometown show for Man Must Die. Again due to parking problems, a lot of time is spent moving the van back and forth, nothing much really else to say about Glasgow.

The bands kicked ass, we hung out and drank with some friends, hit some bars afterwards. A few guys go out to a club night and myself and few of the MMD guys head back to drink some beers in the hotel lounge

Thursday 8th – Bradford Rios

MetalIreland readers are no strangers to traveling for gigs and many would have traveled to Bradford Rios is its heyday in the 90s. I’ve had discussions with guys who traveled to see Death and others of that ilk in Bradford.

It’s such a shame that the original Bradford Rios is gone, it’s even more of a shame that the current Leeds Rios closed for the summer and our gig has been moved to the little venue that goes by the name Bradford Rios these days. Besides the drive from Glasgow taking ages and us getting a little bit delayed there is one major problem tonight. The soundman is useless.

It appears he is a kid from the local music college and he is on work experience. When I tell him to turn the kick drum sound up he looks at me blankly, the ‘rabbit in headlights’ expression. He hasn’t got a fucking clue. This ‘soundcheck’ takes a lot longer than usual, then by the grace of god the promoter arranges for a different soundman to come down. The sound drastically improves! The gig gets played and we leave Bradford knowing things cannot get any worse than they have just been.

Friday 9th – Norwich Marquee

Ok so I’m sitting in the van at the side of the road reading yesterday’s entry and I’m laughing at myself for writing it. It reminds me of the pessimist and the optimist, pessimist states that “things couldn’t possibly get any worse”, the optimist says “of course they can”. You see the way I said earlier that I’m sitting at the side of the road? Ah yes, it’s because the fucking van has broken down. So here we were driving along the road, I’ve got the window down, we are blasting a bit of whoever it was - I can’t remember just now - but anyway I digress, there’s a burning smell.

The others agree that it must be from outside and we aren’t burning. We drive on for a few miles more, I notice the smell again. I lean out the window and see black smoke bellowing from behind us with cars now passing us and flashing their lights at us.

A quick emergency pullover is on the cards but we start to lose power. We pull over to see what’s wrong, we aren’t overheating, there is enough water in the van, the oil is fine. The engine is making a large knocking sound however, so we attempt to get to the next service station.

As you can guess we didn’t make it, things got a lot worse, so here I sit at the side of the road somewhere near a small village called Sutton Bridge. Luckily Man Must Die aren’t that far behind us, they pull in, we put some backline into their van and they head off with The Rotted members bunged into it as well.

Tiger Tours, my van hire company are sending a replacement van, but they will be quite sometime getting up from Wembley. I am hungry…

….I am now sitting in Norwich at Tim’s house again, its 5am and I’m slightly drunk. Spellchecker is my new friend. So over the course of the last few hours since I last typed I walked into the little Sutton Bridge village and brought back a big case of water…it has been drunk….I have walked back to the village again to get food, I found a little Chinese called the Phoenix, I got a curry…it has been eaten.

At around 9pm, Frank, the AA mechanic turns up, slightly perplexed as to why he is even here. We both acknowledge the van is fucked and can’t be driven and a recovery truck needs to pick it up. Not long after Frank’s arrival, Tom turns up with the new van, thank god it’s a Merc Sprinter and not a Ford Transit, after unloading the gear and reloading the new van I am finally on my way to Norwich.

Oh, did I mention my phone battery died so I can’t phone ahead to let everyone know I’m on the way? Nevertheless, I arrive at the Marquee in Norwich after 11pm to see the last song of the whole show. Luckily load out is much quicker tonight! Today has been pretty much a wasted day for me but hey it’s still Friday night.

Saturday technically is the last night of tour, but because after the gig a lot of us have to drive all round the place to do stuff and things, tonight was treated as the end of tour party. We are given VIP passes to a strip club in town by a friend of ours so a few of us head off there. Beer and tits, always a good combination.

There was some rock/metal club night on in Norwich as well, we went round there for a while in between drunken kebabs and bullshit talking and now I’m back on the sofa, and as I said, it’s 5am. Tomorrow is a 2 hour drive to the gig so we can get a nice long lie in before then.

Saturday 10th – Peterborough Park

Peterborough… well for a start the venue is good but the town/city whatever it calls itself these days is shit.

We left Norwich around 1pm, most of us dying from hangovers and not much sleep. The heat didn’t do much to help matters, bottles of water are drunk and poured over each other’s heads. When we arrive at the venue, load in is delayed well until the in house sound guy turns up, I never do get an answer as to why this is important but it’s quite annoying.

What’s more annoying is that the promoter has done no advancements whatsoever so I have no information about the venue or promoter’s plans for tonight, including times and curfews etc. When we finally get in, sorting out the rider becomes even more difficult as the promoter claims he doesn’t have it. I show him the email I sent him, he gives in. The rider turns up. The gig goes well for all of the touring bands.

The local support band however are having a great time of it, it seems their drummer, bassist and guitarist couldn’t make the gig in the end. The singer has arranged a stand in guitarist and has put the drum and bass tracks on his Ipod to play along to. My first question is, why didn’t you pull out of the gig? I get no answer. I ask the promoter why did he even book a band with seemingly no members - I get no answer. Ok, let’s look back at yesterday’s events, the breakdown, the sitting around in the sun etc, and the fact that I’m coping with a dire hangover.

You may think I have good reason to be in a foul mood and I am. A generic local support band really doesn’t help matters either. Let me tell you a bit about the Peterborough Park, the “backstage band room” is more of a cupboard than a room; think of that little room behind the stage in Eamon Dorans and you’re on the right track size wise.

This room is filled with various amp heads, guitars, snares and cymbals etc. There is about enough room for 2 people to get changed at a time on the small bit of standing space available, not ideal but easy to make do with. So I disappeared for about 5mins to get a burger from the chippy down the road, I come back and find the tiny little bit of standing space is now covered in generic local support band’s guitar cabs, heads, guitars and merch boxes.

A quick conversation with said band leads to them trying to start an argument, I already wasn’t in a good mood; this really isn’t helping their case. Suffice to say, they shout at me, I shout back and they realize I was right, their shit gets moved out of the way and my bands can now eat and get changed for the gig in some relative space. After the show all the touring bands hang out around the vans, talking shit, sharing a few beers.

We head back to Norwich to leave The Rotted home and unload a ton of equipment. The other bands are staying at a local hotel in Travelodge. I’ll meet up with them again in a few weeks time.

Sunday 11th - HOME TIME/ WORLD CUP FINAL DAY. WOOHOOO

Yes ok, the tour was planned to end and get us all home for the World Cup final. I’m sitting in the airport typing this now and everyone else is already home. Oh wait, fuck! I’M NOT HOME! My flight was at 3.30. Its 5pm as I type this.

Thank you Easyjet, thank you for the delays. I may miss the start of the World Cup Final.

It doesn’t matter that I’m already half asleep after 2 hours sleep and a 3 hour drive to London this morning to leave back the van and then quest through London on the tube…oh wait there was line closures, make that replacement bus services and a rush up to Stansted airport and now I’m delayed.

I did however get a meal voucher for £3 so my beer has only really cost me 26p. There’s a point here somewhere but I’m not sure what it is. Ah yes fuck Easyjet and my foul mood.

Luckily the tour is over. I can sleep all day tomorrow and that’s that. I guess I’ll get home around 8pm tonight and I’m tipping The Netherlands to win the World Cup!

Monday 12th – My house.

I was wrong about the World Cup.

- Corey Barkley ::: 21/07/10