MCGALLIGOG ATE MY IPOD!!
Dublin metal band new record breaks reviewer iPod, heart
Terror and dismay on the streets of Belfast last night as the new album from Dublin heavy metal band McGalligog, ‘Powered By Death’, breaks the iPod of the very person set to review it.
McGalligog (6) self-described as ‘melodic death / thrash metal’, submitted their debut full-length album for critical appraisal, but events were to take a disturbing turn for the worst.
After hearing anguished wails from the street outside, alarmed neighbouring resident Inveralmond Thrappledouser (56) rang the police, who quickly ascertained the reason for the ruckus.
Upon entering the stately manor on Hampton Parade, police officers found Metalireland (10) reviewer Dónal McBrien (30) lying curled up in a shuddering ball in a catatonic state.
With all 18 rooms in the manor being in a state of destruction, it was ascertained that McBrien had been attacked, and a lengthy fracas had taken place.
McBrien, only being able to cryptically mumble “The Gog…. the Gog…..” resulted in police arresting footballer David N’Gog (23) as a precaution against further assaults.
Later that night, PSNI officers were shown a map of Bolton and N’Gog was released without charge. Suspicions roused, officers again interviewed McBrien, who by this point had recovered enough with a glass of tonic wine to be able to help police with their enquiries.
“It was a terrifying experience” said McBrien. “I loaded the album up, but the ‘Gog broke the ‘Pod and I realised my precious metal had died on me, and such a horrific realisation triggered a berserker rage, causing me to wreck the mansion.
My devoted manservant Murdock was eventually able to calm me down, tidy the place up, and provide me with a fresh download of McGalligog’s new album, so that I could heroically still review it.”
McBrien went on to describe the album as “A strong mix of Ensiferum without the boring parts, Turisas without the repetition, and Tyr without the sometimes drony vocals. The album is great – well produced, tightly played and surprisingly enjoyable to listen to, despite how off-putting the name is.”
“The Gog are definitely on the ball with their playing – Detrimental D (26) in particular makes the title track stand out quite a bit. The growly vocals are a stark contrast to the music, but I can see this setting them apart from the standard Viking/pagan metal style, and that can only benefit them.”
When asked if there were any minus sides to the album, McBrien continued, “There are very few bad points to this actually – only the spoken word parts detract from it because they just sound so out of place and a bit stupid.
There’s a post-recording comment left in as well that makes it seem more like a demo than an album. But overall this is a great debut, and these guys will go down very well in the European festivals. There’s a lot of fierceness on display here, and it’s a great effort overall.”
Now please turn to page 3 for some tits and not an ounce of news.
3.4 / 5 – Donal McBrien ::: 06/02/12