It’s a pre-requisite for metal bands to have a cool modern name.
So it’s heartening to see The Downward Candidate update their name to The Kandidate in kewl fashion to signify the fact they’re aware that we’re only a short dozen years into the radical 2000s.
Or, after having a glance through the song titles of new album ‘Facing The Imminent Prospect Of Death’, the whole band name might in fact be a veiled reference to that Dustin Hoffman / Anne Bancroft movie “The Candidate”.
The songs certainly reflect those dalliances with Mrs Robinson – ‘Standing On The Cliffs Of Madness’, Beyond The Mind, Sleep You’ll Find’, ‘Fucked In The Search Of Life’, and the euphemism-tastic album (and deed) closer ‘The Knives Spit’.
Hmmmm, after something niggling in the back of my head, a cursory Googling reveals it’s actually ‘The Graduate’ I’m thinking of, and the resulting crushing disappointment at a missed opportunity broods into an indignant rage as to WHY Dustin Hoffman just doesn’t do metal himself? He could do some tribute albums to his movies and cut out supposed middlemen like The Kandidate altogether.
As an actor, you could just give him a microphone, order him to go into Rain Man mode, stand him in the middle of a mosh pit and record the ensuing glory of this new niche. There’s bound to be an untapped market out there for “Reign (Man) In Blood”.
But until someone with a little more arsed-ness than me comes along, it’s The Kandidate and their new album we’re left with. Conveniently, the album inspires the listener to invent a spontaneous Hoffmancore dance! So that’s got to be good for tha kidz. Here’s how you do it, so practice at home first people, before listening to the YouTube video below!
(1) Extend both arms out straight.
(2) Bend wrists at a badass 90 degree angle.
(3) Keep hands loose to make ‘em tight, yo.
(4) Bob at the knees in time to the music.
(5) Grimace along to the lyrics.
Lyrics of which are the standard fare about…emm fuck knows actually, sounds like typical punk hardcore fare “I feel lost, forgotten, dead inside”, “some kind of life, some kind of hell, dead d-dead dead dead dead”, ”everybody hates, everybody hates everybody”, there’s a fair few mentions of “fight”, and some of it’s in Danish. Really, the only track that stands out is ‘Fucked In The Search Of Life’ because it sounds like a nu-metal song, something like Spineshank would have done.
The fact that the vocalist has exactly one vocal tone makes it hard for anything to really stick out and it all becomes a bit of a chore to get through the full 30 minutes, particularly with the first half of the album being practically the one song with different lyrics. It opens up and varies itself a tiny bit towards the end, enough to bump the score up a bit.
The drumming is okay to be honest, and is at least varied between tracks, unlike the guitars and the one bass line, so I guess NP Nielsen is the only one in the band likely to get his hole off Mrs. Robinson any time soon.
2.2 / 5 – Dónal McBrien ::: 24/01/12