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Dimmu Borgir | ‘Eonian’

I’ve heard some cack albums this year, but with a flourish, Dimmu Borgir have swept in to blow them all away.

I can’t remember when this band were last relevant – a very long time ago – but even at that I’m surprised at the absolute lack of musical nous on here.

The only time this album has a clue what it is is when it reaches high camp. Only at that point is it certain.

For the rest it is an absolute train wreck of mashed up riffing, artless choral pomp, mind bendingly vacuous structuring (this is the definition of cut and paste), and impossible to like ‘songs’ shot through with weird plinky-plonk keyboards of the Burzum prison era.

All of that is when they’re not ripping off Satyricon.

And then the strangest thing: they suddenly decide they want to be the Sisters Of Mercy for ‘Interdimensional Summit’. The result is of course an embarrassed facepalm.

I have no idea how an album like this is composed and recorded – by machine, was my first instinct – but all you really need to know is to stay very, very clear of it.

It’s an absolute disaster from a band that have absolutely lost all musical sense.

0 / 5 – Earl Grey ::: 31/07/18

  1. Going to say harsh but fair but probably best to just say fair!

  2. Matt Bree Says:

    That is easily the most excited I’ve been to listen to a Dimmu Borgir track. haha. It’s not as bad as I envisaged but it’s total gack alright.

  3. Cryptic Stench Says:

    To be honest I’ve always found them to be a ghastly proposition, like a terrible Cradle Of Filth with more cheese and without the early classics to back them up.

  4. Definitely not their best moment, and poor given it’s lengthy gestation. But it’s not a flat out zero out of 5…but close. The Satyricon rips are clear tho and that’s shameful.

    The new Satyricon shows them how it’s done. Still relevant.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    A bit overly harsh to be honest. Ive given it a few spins and its not as bad as your making out. Certainly no ‘P.E.M” but it does have its moments. Plenty of melody and twin guitar leads that sit well with the orchestral backround. The satyricon influence is pretty evident to be fair.

  6. To be honest I quite like it, the low end subbyness of it nests well with the high end orchestra around it. The twin leads are well put together all while having plenty of hookiness. I think if they were a new band on the scene this would get a lot more credit but as it Is a change to there earlier stuff it gets shot down.

  7. demonburger Says:

    If you like this, you must love nightwish reject b-sides. This is terrible.

  8. Black Shepherd Says:

    Skim listened to that track and some other single from it there. Doesn’t sound any better or worse than what those kind of bands have been up to since the early 2000s.

  9. My expectations were very low for this. However its an ok listen.If you take it for what it is . OTT ‘commerical’ Metal hammer target audience metal. They are just ott run of the mill metal…. .nothing spectacular. I have played it a few times and it ok. Last album I really liked by them was PME.
    Also Satyricon piss all over them …from a great height.

  10. My expectations were very low for this. However its an ok listen.If you take it for what it is . OTT ‘commerical’ Metal hammer target audience metal. They are just ott run of the mill metal…. .nothing spectacular. I have played it a few times and it ok. Last album I really liked by them was PME.
    Also Satyricon pi$$ all over them …from a great height.

  11. Good to see Dodgy Burger are still flinging em out lookin like failed tryouts for the next Narnia movie!!!

  12. King Hosilt Says:

    Ha Ha I had to check it out after that!
    Great album! ha ha ha ha

    Great review!!!!

  13. Blizzard Beast Says:

    Looks like Vortex was right with Mustiis being the creative force on their later albums before they got booted out. They’ve gone to sh!t since.

  14. John Kimble Says:

    yeah, I bought into the whole Dimmu thing around 99 (Spiritual Black Dimensions) when they presented a more sanitized version of Black Metal for clowns like me who were growing tired of the whole Nu Metal scene. But , in retrospect, they were crap then and have since progressed down a steady trajectory of crapness ever since. Absolute fucking muck, a score of zero strikes me as overly generous considering minus points could be deducted.

  15. Anonymous Says:

    It’s catchy !

  16. IsThisMyFace? Says:

    Never seen Dimmu Borgir before Hellfest this year. Still walked away after about 20 minutes. Wasn’t even arsed waiting around another 20 to hear some of the genuinely cool stuff they had at least up until the first half of Puritanical. Awful muck now really.

  17. Abrakebabra was grand but I’ve never been a fan of the Eonian rings there.

    I’ll get my coat so…

  18. NorthernDarkness Says:

    I’ll take Dimmu’s classics/earlier material any day. But aside from Interdimensional, I actually quite like this album. My only real quam would be how small and meatless the rhythm guitars/drums sound compared to previous releases.

  19. John Kimble Says:

    was doing a clearout of some old cds recently and stuck on PEM. Absolute tripe. Not as bad as this stuff mind, but shite nonetheless. They’ve been churning out muck for years, and even at their very best, have always been also-rans in terms of classic black metal.

  20. puritanical to me is a classic.
    its a vicious as fuck album and nick barkers drumming just makes it.

  21. They would make a fantastic xmas ornament with that look.

  22. Anonymous Says:

    Some of the early stuff is great, no point denying it. And they generally seemed to have a knack for a decent tune, hook and orchestral part, even fairly deep into their career and despite the ridiculous photoshoots/general buffoonery. This, however, is pure bollocks. Sad.

  23. John Kimble Says:

    @blessed1…there’s no doubt PEM is well produced, heavy etc but “vicious”? Fuck no. There’s more menace in the average Coldplay song.

  24. That track sounds like everyone band on nuclear blast put into one song

  25. Anonymous Says:

    Was that a rant or a review. Mr. Grey if your going to review an album at least be impartial or better yet listen to the album before commenting. No way that album is a 0/5.

  26. For me they died the minute Spiritual Black Dimensions came out.

    This is just a nothing album. Same riffs I’ve heard a million times.

    Gimme Stormblast any day, this though….nah.

  27. Wouldn’t fully agree wit the above comment…..Spiritual is indeed muck but I think they hit form again in a big way with PEM..not into intro’s per say but Fear and Wonder is a class entrance to make on that one too….but ye, for me they lost the way completely after PEM.

  28. Yeah Ronny I agree about PEM and it was a favorite of mine when it came out.

    But in hindsight….it’s a direction I wish they didn’t take.

  29. 0 what the fuck kinda stupid review is that

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